Trying to be anything will inevitably lead to its opposite sooner or later and prevent living in reality. “I want to be a good person, I want to be happy, I want to be peaceful”. Trying to create any state of mind is something the psychological self does to have a sense of stability and control over life and life cannot be contained! Life is mouvement and creation.
Whatever you do, don’t fall into this mind game, keep your attention in your heart and just be, then everything will unfold naturally.